It’s Peri-Menopause, I’m not Crazy!
It’s 3 a.m. and I’m awaken out of nowhere thinking I peed the bed. Nope, it’s sweat. Not just a little sweat, so much sweat that I want to change the sheets but I’m exhausted and my hubby is sleep. Instead, I grab multiple towels and turn the AC to Antartica. I’m so confused my mom and aunt said this would happen in my 50’s, but I’m 47 years old and struggling with these damn hormone fluctuations. I’m meaner than mean to everyone, my cycle is short enough to still require coverage but the mood swings and libido changes are worse than being preggers. Someone tell me how am I supposed to navigate peri-menopause when everyone is so busy telling me I’m not old enough for this. People it’s called Peri (meaning the time before). So how bout my doctor and Dr. Google says it’s a 10 year process, wait what. Well BABY! I can’t handle this. For the last 3 years, I’ve been feeling like a crazy person. You’re telling me I have 7 more years of this crap.
Sure it’s great that Oprah Winfrey, Drew Barrymore and Gwyneth Paltrow want to act like it’s the new Super Star trending topic but I can’t even get a doctor to even agree that something is happening with my body. Sure, Monique I’ll do a blood test to see if you're still ovulating and your progesterone is dropping but I still can’t tell you that you are perimenopausal, since all women have different symptoms. What in the actual FXXX!
Let’s talk about this so you know that you are not crazy and either am I.
Recognizing Common Peri-MenopauseSymptoms
As women approach a certain age, typically in their 40s or early 50s, they may experience a phase known as peri-menopause. This transitional period marks the onset of hormonal changes that eventually lead to menopause. While every woman's experience is unique, there are several common symptoms to watch out for:
Hot Flashes and Night Sweats: One of the hallmark signs of peri-menopause, hot flashes can strike at any time, causing sudden feelings of warmth, flushed skin, and sweating, often disrupting sleep during night sweats. Girl get yourself a mini portable fan! I was out to dinner with two friends both 5-10 years younger when I began to complain about how hot the restaurant was. Each person pulled out a mini portable fan like it was a cell phone and they had no clue why I didn’t have one. Nice enough one shipped one to my house the very next day. Thanks Amazon!
Irregular Menstrual Cycles: As hormones fluctuate, menstrual cycles may become irregular. Periods might be shorter, longer, lighter, heavier, or more sporadic than usual. My friend just visits for less and less time but not short enough for me to not prepare or act as if she doesn’t exist. Talk about annoying.
Mood Swings and Emotional Changes: Hormonal shifts can impact mood stability, leading to irritability, mood swings, anxiety, or even bouts of depression. If you think you’ve completely lost your ever loving mind, start explaining your mood swings to friend in your age range. Don’t let them have a partner because that person will literally jump up screaming about how random the mood swings are and how they are happy to get through the day still in love.
Changes in Libido: Fluctuating hormone levels can affect sexual desire and arousal, leading to changes in libido during this phase. Newlyweds do it everywhere and all the time. Well, not if your hormones ain’t having it. The doctors will definitely suggest drugs for this but no real ways to fix it without drugs. So here I am on Google looking for all the things that can naturally get your girl in the mood.
Fatigue and Sleep Disturbances: Many women experience fatigue that isn't necessarily relieved by sleep, along with trouble falling asleep or staying asleep due to night sweats or other symptoms. Now when I say grief kept me from sleeping over 4 hours for about a year I really didn’t think it could ever get worse. Boy was I wrong, peri-menopause got me popping melatonin nightly. At one point, I even upped my dose from 5mgs to 10mgs as my body was struggling to reach 6 hours. I have friends who take prescriptions just to sleep and others eating magnesium gummy vitamins or edibles to lull them off to sleep. I’ve learned that if I exercise and stop hitting snooze in the a.m. I can usually at least hit 7 hours.
Vaginal Dryness and Changes in Sexual Function: Decreasing estrogen levels can cause vaginal dryness, discomfort during intercourse, and changes in sexual satisfaction. Look just invest in some lubricant that is natural with no additives. All you need is a yeast infection to go with all your other symptoms.
Memory Issues and Brain Fog: Some women report difficulty concentrating, memory lapses, or "brain fog" during peri-menopause, which can impact daily functioning. Well, I’m sure you’ve heard of baby brain drain, where you're pregnant and that baby is taking all your brain power and memory. Didn’t think it could get worse until the last few years. People I’m amazing at my day job. I’m a person who can tell you what happened 5 years ago in a meeting and what each person said. Well, I was that person now if it isn’t in a searchable email or a note app or book, I can’t tell you a thing.
Navigating Peri-Menopause with Support
While peri-menopause symptoms can be challenging, understanding them and knowing you're not alone can make a significant difference. If you're experiencing these symptoms, consider discussing them with your healthcare provider to explore potential management options. With the right support and lifestyle adjustments, many women navigate this phase with greater comfort and well-being.
Grieving with Grace,
Monique Hayes, M.Ed, Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist
